Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
