you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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