I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize