after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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