you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
