I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
