rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
