I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
