8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
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