called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
