Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
