I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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