I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
