in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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