He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
