The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
