I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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