im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
