Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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