Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
