Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
