how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
