It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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