this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
