That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
