Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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