you guys were way drunker than both of me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
