I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
