I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
