I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
