i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
