i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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