he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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