My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
