Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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