He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
