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• (707): View more from California

  there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.

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• (818): View more from California

  he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.

  (315): View more from New York

  You would pick up a guy in AA.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever

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• (424): View more from California

  Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.

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• (619): View more from California

  Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Lesbians just stole my cat :(

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