yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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