I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
