The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
