i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
