he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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