He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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