dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
it's like iHOP with fire
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
