He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
