You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Randomize
