I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
