My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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