During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
