if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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