That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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