He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
