Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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