you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
