I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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