He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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