You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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