Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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