You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
