Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
